Using all the titles:Season 3
by provencepuss
Summary: This is getting easier. I had fun, hope you do.the loss of chapter divisions when uploading was beyond my control. Sorry for the inconvenience


**Using all the titles season 3**

"Starsky, Hutchinson, in my office immediately!"

Dobey's voice rang out from his office and echoed round the empty squad room. After a few minutes he came out just in time to see his two top detectives sauntering along the hallway bantering with Minnie and another officer as they came. Starsky made great play of ushering Hutch into the office; when he saw his Captain's face he stood up straight and flipped one of his nonchalant mock salutes. "Mon Capitane" he said in a terrible fake French accent.

Dobey grunted and pointed to the open door. The two detectives exchanged glances and followed him into his office.

"OK you two, enough clowning. I have a new assignment for you."

He opened a thick folder and started to leaf through it. He pulled out a photo and handed it to Starsky. The brunet looked at it and swallowed hard. "What happened to him?"

"That's what you have to find out. You are to report to the theme park this afternoon."

"The theme park?" Starsky's eyebrows arched and a grin spread over his face. "Which one?"

"Which one has the most famous rides Starsky?" Dobey said.

Hutch waited. Starsky pretended to think about the question and then said "don't tell me met me guess we're going in as Mickey and Donald."

Dobey was doing his best to keep a straight face. "Just don't attract too much attention to your investigation. A MURDER on their new VOODOO ISLAND ride isn't exactly good publicity."

Hutch looked up from the photo again. "I didn't know there was a new ride there; you must be slipping Starsk, you dragged me to the last two!"

"It isn't really a new one; they've vamped up the old pirate ship from Peter Pan to go along with the fashion for scary things." He grinned at Dobey, "hey maybe I could be Hook and Hutch could be my faithful Smee."

"Just get over there and find out what's going on." Dobey growled.

Starsky stood up and left the room, Hutch could here him singing "yo ho ho and a bottle of rum."

The ride had been roped off and there was a sign explaining that it was closed for emergency maintenance. Starsky and Hutch made their way to the back of the structure where fantasy became mundane scaffolding. The body had been found at the back of the scenery. A white outline showed the position. Starsky stopped and looked at the sprawling silhouette and shuddered. "This place is giving me the shivers." He said to Hutch; and his partner knew he meant it.

They were still checking out the scene when someone screamed. It sounded like it came form inside the pirate ship. The two detectives instinctively put their hands on their holsters and ran inside the ship. A young woman was standing trembling and staring at something in the shadows. Starsky drew his gun and crept forward. Hutch went to reassure the woman and ask her if she was OK. Starsky spotted the second corpse and called to Hutch to get her out of here!" The body was spread-eagled over a cannon that pointed out of one of the holes in the ship's side as if it was aiming at the passing crowds. The victim was male and there was no sign of a wound. He ran out to join Hutch who had already called for the lab team to return to the ride.

"So what killed them Phil?" Starsky asked. He and Hutch were waiting for the ME to fill them in. "They were both poisoned. I couldn't find any trace of puncture wounds on the first victim and an analysis of the stomach contents told me that he hadn't swallowed the stuff either. It wasn't until I saw this that I understood." As he spoke he pointed to a dark mark on the second victim's throat. "I saw it on the first guy and though maybe it was a bruise; to be honest it didn't look like a possible cause of death so I didn't take much notice. But…"

"But?" Starsky said quietly.

"But when I saw it on this guy too I decided to look again. It is the cause of the death. The poison entered the body through the skin. It must have been slow-acting and the victims finally died where they were dumped."

"I've heard of that kind of thing, some guy in history got poisoned through having his clothes soaked in something? Do you have any idea what the poison could have been on?" Hutch said.

Phil showed them a blown up photo of the mark; it was round and showed some kind of lettering. Starsky's hand went instinctively to the two discs he wore on a cord round his neck. "Some kind of FATAL CHARM by the looks of things." He said. Phil nodded.

That night the two cops were invited to dinner by Edith Dobey. She really wanted them to help her plan a birthday surprise for her daughter. Starsky and Hutch had a soft spot for the child and she was particularly fond of Starsky who knew just how to make her laugh with his silly stories. She was waiting on the lawn with her mother when the Torino drew up in front of the house. "Hi Starsky, hi Hutch!" Starsky caught the little girl up and swung her over his head. "Have you been a good girl?" "Of course!" she said with a giggle. "Do you love me uncle Dave?" 'Of course I LOVE YOU ROSEY he said as he put her down on the ground and kissed the top of her head."

After Rosey had gone to bed the four adults started planning her birthday treat. In the light of the current investigation some of the plans had been change. They were putting the last to touches to their schemes when the 'phone rang and Dobey stepped out of the room to answer it. Starsky gestured to Hutch to 'listen'. They could hear Dobey's mow voice rumbling his answers. The Captain returned to the room and smiled apologetically to his wife. "I'm sorry dear but we have to go. That was MALONE; they've found another MURDER victim and WARD is already way to check it." Starsky and Hutch exchanged despairing glances. If they trusted Phil to get things right, they could rely on Doctor Ward, deputy ME to get things wrong. Starsky ran to start the Torino and as he got into the car Hutch shouted to Dobey "We'll meet you at the theme park, Captain." Dobey turned quickly. "No, follow me. This DEATH was in A DIFFERENT PLACE."

They followed him to the amusement park near the ocean.

Starsky parked the Torino behind the coroner's wagon and the two cops got out of the car. The first thing they heard were loud sobs and as they ran around the end of a mini roller coaster they saw THE CRYING CHILD standing staring at the two men who were about to lift the stretcher carrying the zipped up body bag. They went over to the kid who couldn't have been more than about eight and Starsky dropped down to his familiar crouch. He balanced all his weight on the balls of his feet and managed to stay steady at the kid's height.

"Do you know who that is?" He said gently. The kid sniffed and nodded. "He's my dad." Starsky sighed and put an arm round the kid's shoulders. "Did you se who did it?"

The kid looked away and sniffed again. Starsky found his hanky and handed it to him. "Here, blow and wipe and tell me when you're ready." The kid took it and pulled away. Starsky recognized the kid's need to be distant for a while. He'd been there when his dad was killed, he knew. Hutch started to walk over but Starsky gestured him to hold back. Eventually the kid came back to Starsky. "I know who they are. They tried to hurt him before. I can take you to where they hang out." Starsky held out his hand. When the kid saw the Torino his eyes lit up. "Hey are you guys the two cops that lady wrote about?"

"That's us" Starsky said with a grin. "Wow, wait 'til I tell my friends I got to ride in THE HEROES' car. Wow!"

The kid guided Starsky to a block in a neighborhood that he knew was never going to get any better. It was the place where people came when their luck couldn't run any further down the drain. There was trash piled in every alley and on every street corner. Hutch sniffed the air and grimaced and earned a scowl from his partner. "Don't start!" "Hey," Hutch said, I learned that lesson a long time ago Starsk. But you have to admit there is a bad smell here."

Starsky shook his head and followed the kid to a condemned building that had been broken into. "Is this where they live?"

"Yes."

"OK you stay in the car. If we don't come out or if you hear shooting you push the button on the microphone and say 'mayday' until someone answers. You get that?" The kid nodded and shuffled reluctantly to the car.

The two cops went into the building and again Hutch remarked on the bad smell. Starsky sniffed and nodded. "Someone's been dead a while." They worked their way from one room to the next, Hutch high and Starsky low as they opened each door carefully and went in with their guns ready.

The body was in a back room. The guy had been dead a while judging by the smell but what attracted Hutch's attention was the strange black blisters on his face. "Shit!" he said.

"No it's not it's a corpse." Starsky came back quick as a flash.

"Very funny! Now look at the body. You see those black blisters? You know what it is?"

Starsky went white. "I thought that didn't happen any more."

"It does and rats still carry it. Starsky that guy dies of the Black Death, better known as THE PLAGUE!"

Both cops ran out of the room. They stopped in the hallway to confer. "You don't really think anyone would go on hiding in this place with that there, do you?" Hutch said; but Starsky was already making his way up the stairs; moving as stealthily as a cat. Hutch shrugged and followed him.

They found their prey on the second floor but he was too sick to resist them. Starsky kept his gun aimed just in case, while Hutch ran down to the car to put in a call for an ambulance and a coroner's team. He reassured the kid that everything was going to be OK and waited.

As soon as the medics and the coroner's men had gone Starsky turned to the kid who was sitting in the passenger seat of the Torino and eyeing the two cops carefully. "You ain't gonna put me in Juvie are you?" he said quietly. Starsky leaned in through the window. "No way, kid. We know someone who can look after you until we find your family or a foster home." The kid's eyes lit up. "You do?"

"Sure."

"I can stay there until you call my Aunt Rosie?"

Starsky grinned. "Hey how about that, I have an Aunt Rosie too!"

Hutch bit his tongue to stop himself from saying 'I thought she was Rosa.'

The kid grinned. "My aunt makes the best angle food cake you ever saw." Now it was time for Starsky's eyes to light up – food had that effect on him. He smiled. "Yeah, well cookery isn't one of my aunt's best talents."

Starsky told the kid to slide into the back and Hutch took his usual place. As they drove off Hutch said quietly, "we know someone?"

"Sure, Kiko's mom!"

Hutch grinned. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I'm me and you are you." Starsky said doing a Stan Laurel impersonation.

Starsky let himself into Hutch's apartment and stepped into the room cautiously. Hutch was supposed to have been waiting for him down on the street and Starsky was worried. He looked around the room and stopped dead. Hutch was down. All Starsky could see were his long legs on the floor behind the table in the kitchen. Starsky pulled out his gun and checked the safety; sweeping the room with his gaze he stepped forward to see if he could make out what kind of state Hutch was in. A groan from the kitchen reassured him that his buddy was alive. Starsky pushed the bathroom door ajar; no-one in there. He stepped into the bedroom area of Hutch's place; the bed was unmade but there was no sign of a struggle. Hutch groaned again.

Starsky sniffed the air. The smell was familiar. Confident that there was no-one else in the apartment he replaced his pistol in his holster and went into the kitchen.

Hutch was lying on the floor and his head seemed to be in the cabinet under the sink. Starsky sniffed again and grinned.

"Hey!"

Hutch sat up too fast and knocked his head on the u-bend under the sink.

"Starsky!"

"Having a little plumbing trouble there buddy?" Starsky said with a mischievous grin.

"Uh…nothing I can't…well yes…I …uh…." Hutch scrambled out of the cupboard and sat up. "I thin something is blocking the drain."

Starsky glanced at the sink full of cold greasy water. "I think you're right." He crouched down and took a look. "I need a bucket or something to catch the muck in when I release it."

Hutch handed him the big pot that he used to cook spaghetti.

Starsky did something under the sink and Hutch watched with relief as the murky water began to swirl and gurgle down the pipe and into the pot. Starsky stood up. "How many times have I told you that if you don't clean out THE COLLECTOR now and then the sink will block!"

Hutch looked sheepish. "Come on," Starsky said; "we're late."

The morning was boring. They decided to have lunch in The Pits. As they walked in through the back entrance they could hear Huggy boasting to someone about his mis-spent youth.

"Yeah man, ever since I was a MANCHILD ON THE STREETS I've know how to get a bit of THE ACTION when I wanted to. Old JT taught me everything he knew and when it came to poker he was THE HEAVYWEIGHT; the man to beat."

Starsky winked at Hutch and they took up places at the bar pretending not to be interested in Huggy's boasting.

Starsky's beeper interrupted everything. "Hey Hug, I need to use your phone." He said as he vaulted over the bar. Hutch waited while Starsky listened and nodded and gave monosyllabic replies. He put down the phone and looked at Hutch in disgust.

"Babysitting!" He said in disgust. "Come on I'll explain in the car."

When Starsky pulled up in front of a local funeral parlor Hutch said "just who are we going to be babysitting Starsk?"

"A guy called Monty Johnson. He died on the way to a very important appointment and we are supposed to make sure he keeps it."

"Starsky; the guy is dead! We're going to baby-sit a corpse?"

"Not just any corpse Hutch. This one has five thousand dollars worth of coke stuffed in its stomach. That's what killed him; one of the pouches burst; which makes him A BODY WORTH GUARDING, until his friends come to claim him and take him home. Narcotics figured they would be more likely to come and claim him here than at the morgue."

Starsky and Hutch took up position behind the caskets.

An hour later the door of the parlor opened and two men came in. "Are you sure this is the right place Joe?"

"Sure I'm sure. I got the address right here. Look there's Monty." They looked around and started to lift up the body. Starsky slipped out from his hiding place and said politely "can I give you a hand there guys?" Joe turned round and saw the barrel of Starsky's gun a few inches from his chest.

"Hutch I guess THE TRAP is sprung." Starsky said with a grin.

"What are you reading now Starsky?" Hutch had never quite got used to the way Starsky seemed to have a book in his bedroom and another one in the living room and another one in the car in case a stake-out got too boring.

"It's a dumb kind of thriller, SATAN'S WITCHES. I know I should be reading up for that CLASS we are supposed to be taking about changing techniques IN CRIME investigation but this is more fun." He did a perfect take off of the man who was teaching the class and said, "and what are _you_ reading HUTCHINSON?"

"I thought I'd read up the correct legal definitions of some of the stuff we deal with every day. I'm on the chapter about MURDER ONE. I'll bet you don't know the precise definition."

Starsky turned deep blue eyes to him and said sadly; "I've known that definition since I was thirteen, Hutch. Murder one: killing of a police officer. I know there are other definitions like pre-meditated killing but I guess it all came down to the same thing that day; they'd planned it and they did it."

Hutch regretted that he had mentioned it. Now he wanted to cheer his partner up. "Come on; I'll buy you a drink at that new disco in town. You never know we light find ourselves a FOXY LADY each and spend a pleasant night instead of thinking about stuff like that."

Starsky smiled and shook his head. "No, I think I'll stay in and listen to my new album."

Hutch was secretly relieved that the PARTNERS weren't going to spend their night in a noisy disco.

"Ok; you get the beers and I'll go get a pizza or something."

"Chinese!" Starsky yelled form the kitchen. "We had pizza the last time"

When Hutch got back Starsky was sitting on the floor with a smile on his face listening to his favorite album of the moment. Hutch thought he recognized the band. "That's The Who, isn't it?"

Starsky nodded and gestured to Hutch to put the cartons of food on the table.

"It's that album they brought out a couple of years back isn't it?

Another dreamy nod.

"I remember it had some weird name like QUADROMANIA".

Starsky grinned and said "not Quadromania, dummie, Quadrophenia."

Hutch laughed and helped himself to some noodles. They sat and ate and listened to the album twice over. Suddenly Starsky stood up. "I want to show you something."

He led Hutch over to the window and for the first time the big blond saw that Starsky had transformed the big window into a sliding door that led out onto a platform with just enough room for a deck chair. "What is this Starsk?"

"Well I figured that if you could have your indoor garden I could have my DECK so I can sit WATCH the stars and stuff when I can't get to sleep."

Once again Starsky had shown a side of his personality that Hutch had never suspected.


End file.
